Airline food: the usual jokes

Recent trip on British Airways
Took an overnight flight to Heathrow and enjoyed "hospitality" of the airline!
So for breakfast...sorry, I should more accurately describe it as "breakfast" the stew...flight atten...stew? Sigh. The whatever serves cereal. So far so good. As an accompaniment, predictably, more starch! They offer a croissant, woops, another mistake! I meant to say "croissant". The stew is concerned there is no room on my tray for the "croissant" he says "oh dear your plate is full" and becomes disoriented. What I said: "No problem, just hand it to me." What I wanted to say after only an hour of sleep: "Give me the motherf£%&ing "croissant" or you will die." Note it would have been said with a smile on my face since I wish to be a genial US of A ambassedress. I opted away from the other starchy selection they were proffering since it was (not making this up) a bacon roll. .....
.....
with ketchup...
......
tiny stale roll with bacon slices in it....
.....need a moment here......
feeling dizzy....
...not.
right.
................
What I said: "No thank you, I will take the "croissant"."
What I wanted to say: "GAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKUUUUUUUURRRRGGGHHHHHHHBBBLLLLAAAAAARGH". (In a pleasing tone of voice, though).

Am enjoying Heathrow...bought some UK gossip rags (BTW, I am on Team Pete and not on Team Jordan). Also saw a guy who was near spitting image of Bruno character from the movie. Tight clothes, really nice silver jewelry (I kind of wanted his bracelet) and the same bleached light blond haircut (a good dye job on the hair which I noted...even with only an hour of sleep I maintain some level of chick skills).