Thursday, July 8, 2010

Dinocroc Vs Supergator...SyFy, you scamp!

I had Dinocroc Vs Supergator on my DVR so I did not call anyone I knew because and I was afraid they would accidentally give away the ending before I had a chance to watch.
So I watched it yesterday and have several thoughts:
1. D-Croc and Supa-G only fought the LAST FOUR MINUTES of the movie. RIPOFF!!!! The rest of the movie was our two friends chomping on tourists (OK, it is SyFy so it was mostly them nomming on women in bikinis).
2. One of the characters is "played" (I would say "acted" but that is really an overstatement) by an "actor" whose first name is (I am not making this up) Rib. This makes me fill up with a warm toasty happy. He "played" a hunter called The Cajun (no, really) who wore an Australian outback hat, had no discernible accent, and ended up killing NOTHING.
3. No plot whatsoever. Really. None. Zip.
4. The nerdy scientist/federal agent who kills one of the scale-sters with SCIENCE! gets the girl, a park ranger, who is a good 5-6 inches taller than him. Fantastic!
5. The CGI is so bad that most of the time the feet on our CGI reptilian pals do not even touch the ground. Oh, SyFy, I heart you so much!
6. David Carradine played the reclusive island billionaire (really is there any other kind of billionaire?) who developed the large reptiles as an army for breed them to um....oh, nevermind. I thought of him passing after this movie and haz a sad. :(
7. The movie was about 3/4 over before I finally got straight which one of our hilarious cold-blooded superstars was Dinocroc and which one was Supergator. Although either one would have made a really nice purse.
8. At the resort hotel, a Hollywood type (we know this because he is riding in a limo, wearing a big gold chain and has feathered hair {and SPOLER ALERT: dies/gets chomped in a hot tub}) calls them to book a cottage and part of the conversation is thus:
Resort guy: You will love coming down now, the fishing is to die for.
Hollywood Guy: You know how I love my tilapia!
Me: Huh????

Yep, everyone knows that after you make it in Tinseltown, the streets are paved with....tilapia.
And I am pretty sure that is the moral of this movie.

No comments:

Post a Comment