Thursday, August 15, 2013

Celebrity Cook Off: MAKE IT STOP

  • We open with a montage of the last show which eliminated my Johnny.  The pain returns anew.  WHY WHY WHY
  • Mr. Tori is contemplative (or what passes for ‘thinking’anyway).because he is the only one left on his team.  I am pretty pretty sure the others on his team ‘cooked’ badly on purpose to get away from incessant talk about being the Culinary Dad. 
  • Food trucks!  I am hoping there are lots of mobile port-o-sans for the poor b*stards who will have to taste this food. 
  • The front of the trucks say “R&G” Retch & Groan?  Obviously.
  • Guy FIERRRRRRI!! has neon yellow sunglasses with magenta reflective lenses.  Even aliens from Mercury are going “too bright, dude!”
  • So the challenge is announced with the predictable gnashing moaning and ENDLESS whining by Carny (Carnie?  Carny?  I forget.  I would now like to thank my brain for not remembering something so stupid.  High five, brain!)  Dear God, make her stop.
  • Two people are going home today.  I am VERY happy since this means one less episode of this crap.
  • Mr Tori says when you ‘mess up’ Asian food it is ‘bad’.  CULINARY EXPERTISE!!!
  • LDP! LDP! LDPPPPPPPPP!  LDP is on the show because he is holding the golden ticket.  I have no idea what this means.  Even if it was adequately explained it would still somehow be meaningless. 
  • Carnie whines.  Again.  She is going to make meatballs, mashed potatos and gravy.  For a food truck dish.  Think about that for a while.
  • Mr Tori is making a taco with pork, chorizo and assorted crap. Blech.
  • They show a clip of Tori sending a message of love and encouragement to her husband.  So it appears she has finally learned to act!
  • Seriously, people I ad to fast forward to some of the food preparation montage because what they are making looks so colossally disgusting…..
  • Carnie says she has to convince the people that her food tastes good.  Normally you would think that delicious food would take care of this but since her food looks like crap, she will need to to a LOT of talking (which, judging from this show, is apparently not an issue for her) to convince people this food is good.
  • LDP shows up!!!!!  He has a golden ticket which counts for 5 votes.  WOW! I thought it meant a magical tour of his hairdresser’s salon but I guess not.
  • Kathy gave her mac and cheese middle eastern ‘flair ‘ by adding parsley (??) and…olives.  GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKHHHCCHHK!
  • One of the patrons said a hotdog should have ‘snap’ when you bite into it.  That usually happens because you have bitten into a piece of a hoof.
So the two going to the final are Mr Tori and Carnie.  Let the whining begin.

No comments:

Post a Comment